Please contact us on 0121 517 1520 to order over the phone or discuss a bespoke product.


Terms & Conditions

Two Fat Blokes Bar Sign Emporium - Two Fat Blokes Ltd

Our terms and conditions are designed to be simple, above all we want you to be happy with your dealings with the team at Fat Blokes HQ.

Two Fat Blokes print what you ask us to print so once you've approved us to proceed we will.

We print it as you type it so if you spelt it wrong then we assume that's what you wanted. So check what you've asked for before you press GO.

We're open minded but we may reject offensive or hateful text or images. If we do then we will refund your order.

Five year warranty on the personalised 3mm bar signs, They won't fade or peel or we will give you a replacement. You should note that the hanging versions may be damaged by high winds and should be removed in extreme weather conditions.

Our budget bar 0.5mm sign range is covered by a 12 months warranty against defect

Bar Runners, T shirts and coasters are classed as consumables, They have a 12 month warranty against manufacturing defects. offers a no risk warranty - If when we have sent the print proof, you’ve had changes made and you don’t like what we have done we will give you a full and complete refund – No questions asked

Shipping - We ship to all countries throughout the world using EVRI/DHL/UPS/Royal Mail. You order will be shipped once we have made your order. Your order will be shipped in secure sealed packing. Any damages or shortages need to be reported within 14 days to

Shipping times are typical up to 7 days for website designs or 14 days artwork then up to 14 days for delivery

UK Mainland including Northern Ireland -Free shipping 

Rest of the World - Calculated at checkout including £12 admin fee for completion of export documentation.  Any additional import duty or local fees needs to be paid by the purchaser.

Copyright - All artwork is the express property of trading as Two Fat Blokes Ltd, if you want rights to the artwork then ask for transfer of ownership of the image rights. We will quote you for the ownership rights transfer. The artwork generated by Two Fat Blokes Ltd may not be used without the express permission in writing of Two Fat Blokes Ltd

We will change the layout to suit the shape and size of the sign with your text. We always send a proof out before we proceed to make your order. We do not charge extra for this unlike our competitors.

By placing your order you agree to Two Fat Blokes Ltd terms and conditions.

The terms and conditions do not affect your statutory rights because legally they can't.

We try hard to make this site accurate and correct but we reserve the right to change terms and conditions or amend as we want.

If we make a mistake on the website we're sorry, we will try and get it corrected as soon as we know it's wrong, meanwhile have a beer and chill.

Are you still reading the terms and conditions or like 99% of bar owners who have decided to place an order for a swanky new bar sign after nine pints of Old Peculiar, three shots of homemade Werthers vodka and some weird orange Sambuca that's been on the shelf for four years since you mate Dave last went to Greece, so you just clicked Buy without reading the terms and conditions and agreed to whatever we put in the terms and conditions no matter how ridiculous or stupid.

Pub Shed Access Clause - By purchasing any service from Two Fat Blokes you agree to grant the Two Fat Blokes or their designated minions free access to your bar where you agree to serve as much booze and pig snacks as we wish to consume. We will give you 1 days notice before we enact this clause so that you can ensure your bar is full of booze. To opt out you must send an email to with your pitiful excuses.

Birthday cake clause - By purchasing from Two Fat Blokes sign emporium you agree to provide a birthday cake for the Two Fat blokes and Liza in the weekend closest to their birthdays, Company birthday 18th March, Matt December 10th, Ash April 28th & Liza August 31st. Vanilla sponge cake is not acceptable.

Mortal Soul Clause -You grant us a non-transferable option to claim, for now and forever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within five working days of receiving written notification from or one of its duly authorised minions.

Herod Clause - The purchaser agrees to assign their first-born child to us for the duration of eternity. 

TwoFB Clause - We don't want Mortal souls or First borns so we won't enact these clauses - We make bar signs, drink beer and eat cake-Cheers